On the off chance you haven’t been spoiled yet, I’ll put this beneath a cut.

Okay. Time to sound bitter.

Thank you for what?

A schmaltzy wedding between Hoyt and Jessica? Although I enjoyed it when I watched it, as time passed after the finale, I realized how manipulative it was. And how gross. After a moment of strength (Jess telling Bill she’d be fine), she freaks out when Bill even mentions marriage…and then decides, hey! Let’s get married today! Um. Okay? Arlene going all “ooh” and “aah” over Bill’s house though was admittedly funny, and I did like the interaction between Bill and Andy and Bill and Hoyt.

Okay, so what about Jason and Bridgette? Talk about a fucking cheat. Sookie gives Bridgette her blessing and next thing we know Jason is married and has three kids wit her? I had a feeling this was going to happen too. Hated the idea last week, hated the idea this week. Bridgette is virginal and bland and using a time jump to establish them is down right cheap! At least when the producers pulled this trick last year, we knew that Sookie had at least some attraction to  Alcide!

The following couples were also apparently together: Keith/Arlene, Lala/James, Andy/Holly, Adelyn and Holly’s son, Sam and Nicole.

Oh. And the writers remembered to include Willa in a pan shot to prove she was still alive. I wonder if Eric and Pam ever even reached back out to her after they started their NuBlood venture, or if because she asked to be released they never spoke to her again. Ugh. What a waste of a story and a character.

As for Sookie, she’s knocked up by someone who we never see, let alone meet.

Someone tweeted the very important question: Why are the HEA marriage and kids? It’s 2014!

Anyway, it does make me wonder if she ever grieved Bill for more than five minutes) and why at least Jessica wasn’t around when they did the deed.

Suicidal Bill never sat well with me because he really wasn’t all that self-hating. It’s another turn-on-the-heel character development, much as his sudden affinity for Lilith in Season 5. The plot dictated it and little else.

The only things that did not bother me about this episode were Eric and Pam. Mr. Gus’ death was way overdue, but very awesome and the infomercial bit was pretty clever. I do question that awful use of footage from like S2 or S3. Did they think we wouldn’t notice? And honestly, I have to wonder why Fang was still in Shreveport. You think Eric and Pam would have moved on because of their success.

Overall. Just. Blech. Not the way I wanted the show to go out.