It’s hard to believe that we’re already at episode seven of this season. What has really happened to this point?

Episodes 1-4 focused on Hep V vamps and the human vigilantes. While it’s nice seeing a slightly “human” face on the Hep V vamps, honestly, the scene in the lawyer’s office in episode six did a better job of doing that. The human vigilantes were just plain awful to watch. Kendra’s character assassinated and Vince was so over the top that when they got killed off it was more a relief that we don’t have to put up with them anymore than a sense of victory that they aren’t any kind of threat.

Episode 5 was cleaning up the aftermath of the Hep V vamps. It was nice seeing Andy finally propose to Holly, but that’s about it. As much as I wanted Lafayette and James together, this wasn’t the way I wanted to see it. No matter how epic Lala’s speech was, it was still epic douche move. And unfortunately, Jess and Jason’s reunited sex was not only not sexy, but it also marked the return of idiot Jason which brings us to…

Episode 6, a filler episode that moved everyone into position for the end game. Shame Jason has lost the ability to use those brain cells that he learned how to use in seasons past. Bill killing the lawyer was nice, but if the dead bodyguard was the “Bellagio of blood” that Stephen Moyer promised, it is an incredible let down, especially after the rather epic massacre of Burrell and his men in Season 6.

I feel like last week really drained the season of whatever momentum it had gained, and if this is just another week of Bill having flashbacks I’m going to be pissed. So what happened? Let’s take a look.

Or not.

See, halfway through the show (or maybe 40 minutes?) I realized that I had stopped note taking. Oops. I literally got so distracted from being bored that I lost track of where I was. And to be honest, I had no desire to go back and figure out what was going on.

And honestly, that’s an indictment on the episode itself. It moved so damn slow. The filler episode last week had more momentum and more energy. The only even vaguely memorable part of this was Sarah Newlin (sorry, I refuse to call her Noomi) losing her shit at the old FoTS camp. I absolutely adored Steve Newlin’s Evangelist Preacher. You can absolutely see how he was able to build up the FoTS when he was still alive.

Ultimately, the problem I think this season has is that they wanted to go more “personal” this final season. On paper, I get why they wanted to do this – it’s a large cast and they wanted to bring it back home But there are two problems: the first is they still added characters, which kind of negates the focus on the core people. The second is that the show has been so big for so long that this small, low-key approach that worked in the first season no longer works. I also think that it makes zero sense that Lilith would give Bill his blood to save a handful of vampires in Vamp Camp, yet seemingly give zero shits about Hep V, which is well on its way of driving vampires to extinction. True Blood has often been accused of nothing thinking things through and this is very much in that same line. They clearly didn’t think this through.  I’d rather seen asshole Bill raising an army to defeat Hep V than all of these flashbacks that are just boring (and I’m a Bill fan!) and even more filler.

I’ve reached the point where I wish they hadn’t made a final season instead of…this. Ending on a WTF note would have been better than this.

Verdict: F

(Sarah Newlin almost saved it, but I have never been as bored during True Blood as I have been this week. Ever.)

 

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