5. Not keeping up with the fashion trends. Nothing is more pitiful than the vampire whose clothing is at least twenty years out of date. I mean, we vampires don’t need to be fashion plates, but we should all strive to make some effort. And muumuus are never acceptable.

4. Not learning how to use new technology. It’s never a good idea to anger your Sheriff or your Monarch because you don’t know how to get into your voice mail.

3. Hiding Talbot’s favorite cravat. Let’s just say it seemed like a good idea at the time.

2. Light colored carpets. Blood is almost impossible to get out entirely, no matter how quickly you act.

1. Drinking that bottle of Tru Blood that’s been sitting in the back of the fridge for who knows how long. It’s no real substitute for blood in the first place, but when it’s past it’s prime? Dead blood is more preferable than that.