“Does that help you decide America? Do not turn off the camera! You’ve seen how quickly I can kill. Ladies and gentlemen, my name is Russell Edgington and I have been a vampire for nearly three-thousand years. Now, the American Vampire League wishes to perpetuate the idea that we are just like you. I suppose in a few small ways we are. We’re narcissists. We care only about getting what we want no matter what the cost just like you. Global warming, perpetual war, toxic waste, child labor, torture, genocide, That’s a small price to pay for your SUVs and your flat screen TVs, your blood diamonds, your designer jeans, your absurd garish McMansions! Futile symbols of pertanence to quell your quivering, spineless souls. But no, in the end we are nothing like you. We are immortal. Because we drink the true blood. Blood that is living, organic and human. And that is the truce the AVL wishes to conceal from you because let’s face it eating people is a tough sale these days so they put on their friendly faces to pass their beloved VRA but make no mistake. Mine is the true face of vampire! Why would we seek equal rights? You are not our equals. We will eat you after we eat your children. Now time for the weather. Tiffany?”

– Russell Edington,  Everything is Broken S3E9


This one was tough because there are just SO many good quotes out there from just about all of the characters: it all depends on what it is you’re looking for at the moment. Eric has the best sex related qoutes and no one can beat Pam’s one liners, but I decided to go with this one for a two reasons:

– The most obvious: the absurdity of the ending of the speech. I considered just doing that portion of it, but what makes it such a great line is the context of it. Here he’s gone on this rant after ripping out the spine of the hapless news anchor sitting at the desk and then BAM he’s acting like nothing out of the norm has happened and is handing the show back off to the hapless humans whom he’s both belittled and terrorized. It has great impact for the contrast.

-I like it because you know that for all the face that many vampires put on to the front that they want to be out there and amongst the humans that in reality, way more probably feel the way that Russell does. Neither Eric nor Pam hide their disdain for humans, and even the most ardent mainstreams on the show – Bill and Nan – don’t really seem to have a problem with feeding on humans- Nan more so than Bill probably, but even though he had to feed when he was in limo with Russell and Lorena he seemed to be rather enjoying himself when they’d gotten back to the mansion.

So yeah, I like it because it hints at the darker truth: vampires don’t see humans as their equals and some (like Russell) would very much like a return to the good old days. It’s a good quote for highlighting that and that’s why I picked it.